Psychology of A Sex Addict 101

I have this recurring thought to drop out of my Master's in Psychology program even before it starts. Then my next thought is how exciting this whole adventure in psychology is going to be. I'm guessing it's just fear of the usual shit: money, can I do this shit, am I smart enough; fear that I was pretty sure I had gotten rid of. Fear do like to hang on, I guess.

I should have known I was a psychology guy years ago. My freshman year in college had me exempt from the Psychology 101 final. My friends and classmates used to cheat off my test paper. I wrote psychology papers with zero references, just cruising along like Stephen King, prolifically spewing out papers that received A after A from the professor. Psychology felt like a natural fit, yet my ego decided I wanted to be a filmmaker, and look where that got me---to California, the place of my dreams, and to a position as a Behavior Therapist for kids with autism, and an opportunity to go back to school to get a master's in Counseling. Sweet, huh? I am grateful. So I guess I can chalk one up for the ego making a life decision. At least now my awareness trumps my ego at every turn, and it is making this life more and more interesting and exciting by the day.

My student admssions counselor called me today to say that when the board of persons that declares my eleigbility for a Master's in Psychology review me it is important that I look presentable. Shit---I guess I can no longer sport my California Overgrown Teenager Wear (shorts, tee-shirt). Time to grow up I guess, at least on the outside. Although I am evolving when it comes to awareness, I happily fear I will always be sort of a kid on the inside--it's my nature, my free-spirited desire to be so trumps anything my psyche can prepare for me. I is who I is---and I'm starting to believe that ain't all bad.

First class tomorrow. It's an APA class---the American Psychology Association's class on how to write psychology papers. Shuld be cool. Then next week I have a class on tools for the entire program, and an Orientation. Orientation--wow! I remember my Orientation for Undergraduate school days: Party! I'm guessing this party will be a little more tame---and I won't be sporting shorts and a tee-shirt, though I will be looking around the room to see who I could sleep with! Ahhhh---some things never change.

Psychology of a Sex Addict 101. I shall write the book!!

Peace

Kevin