What To Do?

Feeling that "change" thing. Feeling a little anxious. Don't want to feel this way. Don't like it at all. It festers in the pit of my stomach, and then moves up and penetrates my mind, creating a whirlwind of anxious thought---thoughts about life and what I am to do. Thoughts about dropping out of Master's program. Thoughts about quitting the work I do. Thoughts about escaping. Wanting to just BE. Travel. Write.

I don't want to work around autism anymore. I don't want to worry about writing papers to become a counselor. Sometimes I don't see myself as becoming this person. I can usually picture things in my mind's eye, sort of like a premonition, or vision of what will be in the future. I don't see myself as a therapist. I don't know what I want to do.

Going to be 48 years old on Christmas.

I don't want to have this feeling anymore!!! This stress and worry.

I still feel like I am working and going to school to please others---my parents, my friends. Is it what I really want?? And if I decide to chuck all this for something else what is the worst than can happen? And if that happens, well then what is the worst that can happen than?

I just want to BE happy. And I am not right now.

I am about to go to work with C-Bone after a weekend off and I don't want to go.

What to do???

Peace

Kevin